Sex Matters

I have had several conversations over the past few months that all point to one thing – sex matters.

It matters if you are married.
It matters if you are single.
It matters if you are a virgin.
It matters if you are not.

Sex matters.

I don’t fully understand why God made sex so central to who we are as humans. But He did. Even as children, our sexual organs are things of mystery and curiosity. One of my good friends was bathing her little boy who proudly proclaimed, “Mommy, I love my penis.” She responded by saying, “Good! It is good to love our bodies. Our arms, our legs, our faces.” The little boy thought about this for a few minutes and then said, “Yes, but I love my penis the best.”

In the sex-crazed world we live in it so hard to figure out the correct place for our sexuality. My single friends talk about how difficult it is to have a sex drive and safe place to really talk about it. Many of my married friends often seem to think that sex isn’t important any more now that the ring is on the finger.


Especially in marriage. Sex is vital to a healthy relationship. It is the “superglue that holds marriage together”. If you are a wife who is not actively involved in your sex life, or refuses sex with your husband, I pray that you will repent and ask the Lord to reveal His heart for sex to you. If you are a wife who strongly desires sex, but isn’t getting it (or not enough), God has strength and grace available for you.

If you are single, then I will pray for strength, wisdom and righteousness for you. You can do it! Check out The Marriage Bed on my resources page, its a great place for you (even as a single person).

I think that often, as a high drive wife, I can try to convince myself that I am making a “bigger deal” about sex than I need it. I can find myself thinking, “Maybe I am wrong. Maybe sex doesn’t matter as much as I think it does. Maybe I just need to let it go and get on with life.” But this is simply not true. Whatever happens, please don’t buy into the lie that sex doesn’t matter in marriage. That it’s no big deal whether you have it or not. That is poisonous kool-aid, my friends. Sex is the one physical way that we can affirm our covenant before God. And it matters. And because it matters, the Enemy will attack it.

If you are married and avoiding sex, why? What are the things that keep you from the marriage bed?
If you are married and being refused, I am praying for you and I hope that some of the things I am learning will be helpful along your own journey. If nothing else, it’s good to know there are others in the boat.

Pray for me today. Pray that I continue to walk in the strength and grace of God. Pray that I won’t hold any unforgiveness towards my husband for things he has done that have hurt me. And I will pray for you. I will pray that if you are withholding God’s good gift you that He would truly break your heart and you would begin a journey of love and obedience and joy! I will pray that if you are being withheld from that you would find comfort and strength in the arms of our good Father, and the Husband of your soul. And I will pray resurrection life into your marriage bed.


P.S. That post on masturbation I promised you is coming soon. Hope it is a help to many of you.

8 thoughts on “Sex Matters

  1. Forgive my lack o knowledge on technology. All i have for internet is my phone… How can i directly contact you via email? Is there a link on here for that?

  2. Thank you for caring so deeply for everyone, but especially us refused wives. Right now I am not only sex hungry, but husband starved because his job sent him away and we don’t know when he can come back.

    • LIBL,

      Grace, grace, grace, grace to walk out this season!! My husband, while his job doesn’t take him away from the city, often works ~80 hours a week, along with about 20 hours of at home work a week. So while I haven’t walked in your shoes exactly, I have a small glimpse into missing my own husband. Praying for some creative ways to connect with him while he is away, or maybe even the finances & time to visit.

      Praying for you today LIBL

      • Thank you! I am hoping to hotel it with him at some point. Otherwise, he is against suggestive photos of me, sexting and phone sex. He’s afraid someone will find, see or over hear what is private between us.

  3. I am just wondering if there is any articles out there written by anyone aimed at the lower drive husband, explaining to them the pain of being withheld from constantly, saying the things you said about “If you are married and avoiding sex, why? What are the things that keep you from the marriage bed?” And similar.
    Everything I find on the topic is aimed at women with low sex drives and I desperate to find something to help my husband with the low sex drive from a christian perspective.

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