I have sat before an empty screen for a long time. Pondering the words to say to you today that would draw your hearts out. Praying that my tongue would indeed be the “pen of a ready writer”, and that my words would have the power to pull on both your heart and your mind.
A reader recently asked me a question regarding orgasm, and it’s importance in marriage. As I ponder this question, I find myself turning in my heart to deeper and deeper questions. The importance of orgasm – importance for whom? The wife? The husband? Is orgasm important to oneness? To contendedness?
These questions lead me deeper still, to what is really the foundational question we must ask ourselves here. What is the purpose of sex? Until I know its purpose, I cannot begin to answer a question regarding the importance of an orgasm (or any other question, really).
I am writing, today, dear friends, because I cannot escape this question of the purpose of sex, and because I believe that in order for us to really understand some of the finer details regarding our sex life (orgasm being one), we must first begin to think about the foundational theology of sex. Our sexual makeup and our desire for the marriage bed is deeply spiritual. Deeply theological. I am here to make a plea with you today – will you engage your heart and your mind towards a healthy, God-oriented theology of sex? Will you dig deep into what it means to have a healthy sexuality in the light of the truth of Christ?
In the center of the Bible is this beautiful little book about the joy of sexuality. It’s called “The Song of Songs”, and it celebrates erotic love in marriage. God has so much to say about sexuality. He cares about it. He created it. He called it good.
There are many who say that the purpose of sex is to bear children. Others who celebrate the physical enjoyment (read, orgasm) that sex brings us. Still others who say that sex is meant to bond us with our spouse, to create a oneness between us. So who is right? Are they all right? Is there a hierarchy of purpose in sex? Is there anything else missing from our theology of sex?
It is my hope over the next few posts to dig into some of the most radical and beautiful teachings I have ever come across regarding a healthy theology of sex. I am praying that it is a heart-opening and God-glorifying experience. I hope you will come along, and join in the conversation.
Here are a few questions I want to leave you with today :
What is your theology regarding sex?
Have you ever stopped to consider just what the purpose of sex is? Why did God create it? What is it for?
How does your belief in God’s purpose of sex shape the way you approach it, experience it and think about it?
Please feel free to journal about this, or pray, or share your thoughts. Here is a community of women who love each other & are not afraid to ask the hard questions. I am excited to find some answers with you.
I hold a trembling pen in my hands as I consider what feels like a monumental undertaking. Please pray that I have the right words to share with you my thoughts about this important topic. Because the truth is, I really wanted to just write about orgasm – and instead I find myself digging deeply “where angels fear to tread”.
Trusting you will tread with me,