Happy New Years friends! Hope you & yours had a wonderful time celebrating the start of 2013. As Mr. Spice and I spend time each year discussing our hopes and goals, our sex life is something that we have included for the past few years. This year we decided that a visual sex aid was in order. One of the things we have noticed is that I am the one who remembers how long it has been since we had sex. While he is a wonderful lover, I am usually ready for a sexual encounter before he is, and I find myself mentally counting the days in my head. After a few days, I find myself having this internal conversation: It has been 4 days since we had sex. Doesn’t Mr. Spice realize that?! We have talked so many times about how often I desire sex. And he wants to do better. What do I do? Should I try to remind him? Should I initiate? But he is so busy – maybe he is too busy for me right now. He is always too busy. He doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t think I am worth pursuing…
And so on and so forth, right down into some pretty negative thinking about our marriage bed and him. So we recently brainstormed on how to help him “count the days”. He does honestly want to serve me, but he often just loses track of time. And since his drive isn’t as strong as mine, he can usually go 6-7 days before needing sex, where as I am more of a every 2-3 day kind of woman (or more, but that’s kind of my happy minimum). If there is a helpful way for him to remember when when we last had sex, then he is happy to help make sure it happens more often.
So here was our idea – a wall calendar. While it definitely doesn’t fit the way we decorate, and its probably been 10 years since I purchased one, we thought that it might be helpful in keeping track of our sex life. We found one that we both liked and hung it right next to our bed. Every time we have sex this year, we will draw a small heart on the day. Since it is right next to our bed, we are both hoping it is something he will glance at often to get a visual on how recently we had sex. And it won’t take much to see if it’s been over 3 or 4 days. We are both hoping it will be a consistent, non-nagging reminder to both of us how important our marriage bed is.
So what about you? Do you have a creative way to help “count the days”? Are you making plans for the new year with your husband for your marriage bed?
Would love to hear from you,