Journaling & Goals

Good morning, amazing friends & sisters. Although we are already a week into January, this month is such a joy for me because it is the month of new beginnings. There is so much life attached to January as I look ahead into the new year and ask God what His plans are for me, and as I submit to Him some of the dreams and desires of my heart. This year is extra special for me because, well, I have you. You incredible women that are becoming such a dear part of my life. This year I am starting out with the blessing of feeling that I belong. Finally, after so many years, I belong. I am not alone in my higher drive. I am not strange, or broken. So thank you for being one of the best parts of the start of 2013.

I wanted to spend a few minutes writing to you all about the joy of goal-making and journaling. Do you write? And I mean, of course, for an audience of two. You and your Father. I hope you do – and if you don’t, I want to encourage you to start this year. Write however is appropriate for you. Bullet points. Poetry. Long prose. Doodle pictures out to the side, or simply sketch a scene that reflects what you are experiencing. Write prayers, write daily hopes, write out your feelings in long and word-filled paragraphs. Or, as one of the greatest ways to refocus your heart – write out your gratitude.
Journaling is such a powerful tool to help us see where we are. And it doesn’t have to be pretty. Just because someone else’s thoughts were put down in nice enough words to be printed once they died doesn’t mean yours have to. In fact, I recently told my husband I would like to burn large portions of my journals. Because they are places where I pour out my hurts and anger. They are not life-giving to anyone else, and I certainly wouldn’t want my children to ever read them. They are the most honest part of my worst places, and they are for God alone.

As you start this new year, spend some time journaling about your hopes, dreams, and prayers for the new year. Journal about your goals, and what you pray the Lord accomplishes. Some of your desires may border on the miraculous, and be something you simply continue to pray towards. Some of your goals may be small and possible – and require nothing but honest work to achieve. But whatever they are, let your heart write down the vision, and run with it.

I wanted to get a little vulnerable today and share a few of my own goals here. I hope this will be a place to stay accountable as well as see how God has shown up at year’s end.

So, here they are:

1. Pounce. At least once a week I plan to seductively but proactively pounce on my husband. I will take the responsibility to pursue him sexually, even if it is hard, or I don’t want to, or I am afraid of rejection. I will go low. And I won’t do this by subtle hints or veiled suggestions, I will make sure he understands “I want you. I need you. You don’t even need to do anything right now, just lay back and let me seduce you and entice you and arouse you.” And then I will do my darndest to do those things that I know are arousing to him, pleasing to him and help him find the “on” switch of his own sexual desire.

2. Pursue. At least twice a week I will shut off my phone, close my laptop and actively pursue my husband’s heart. This could mean writing a love letter, or purposefully finding a meal to fix that will bless his heart, or cleaning his office, or asking him about his heart and really listening. It means figuring out how to connect with my husband’s heart and doing it.

3. Make healthy choices. This will practically work out in two ways. 1) Eat clean 50% of the time (fruits and veggies, salads, etc.). 2) Move intentionally at least 3x a week. This could mean a workout, yoga session or a walk with my kids around the neighborhood.I could stand to lose about 15 lbs, but that honestly isn’t my ultimate goal. I want to be living a healthy lifestyle, and I think the rest of it will work itself out 🙂

4. Keep a gratitude journal. I have the tendency to be a negative person, and I have been meaning to do this for several years, and it simply needs to be done.

I plan on keeping all of you involved in how these goals are going this year with an end-of-the-month review. I would love to have you join me! Are there some personal or marriage goals that you have that you would like to share? You are welcome to join me every month in sharing with everyone how they are going. One encouragement is that you need to make goals that you can actually impact. For instance, I thought about making the “goal” of having sex a certain number of times each week, but that is a goal my husband & I have to both share. All of the goals I mentioned are ones I have a direct impact on.

Share away, sisters –

12 thoughts on “Journaling & Goals

  1. While not a super fleshed out goal, yet, I have a growing sense that I need to minimize distractions so that I can maximize my energy toward my roles of wife and mom. This means that I have to cut out excess commitments so that I can focus on my primary roles and then, in addtion, I can focus on the few commitments outside those roles that are important. This may be a challenge for me because focusing on my roles of wife and mom is more of qualitative focus than a quantitative one, and I am a person who likes quantitive results. It’s going to be a “one day at a time” reality this year, shifting from accomplishing to being.

    • I would love to hear updates on how this is practically working out for you – which might be something you can only see in hindsight. Thanks for sharing & grace on you as you learn to rest in Him & live out of that place.

  2. I’m going to add kissing to your comment of who cares who initiates it! I have been guilty of putting kissing in the category as “okay, i won’t ask him to kiss me, i’ll wait till he wants to” Well, that got me absolutely nowhere and just made me feel more rejected. Now that we are starting over, completely over, like January 1st was our first day of marriage, i am going to kiss my husband as much as i want. The best part is i am not expecting anything in return. I just want to kiss him, and kiss always for at least 3 seconds. If it leads to more kissing, then great. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. AND….as a request by my husband for years…..he wants me to sleep naked. I hesitated because i am always so cold. But, i’m going to go for it this year. Yep, every night in my birthday suit, all night long. Please pray for me sisters as this will be difficult and out of my comfort zone. As a side note, not that anyone is counting……but we haven’t had sex in 2013 yet 😦 My husband is away on a buisness trip for 3 days and won’t he be surprised when he finds out how my new pj’s feel. 🙂

    • I LOVE this! I am so proud of you for jumping in to selflessly giving to your husband. And without keeping score – this is so, so vital to a healthy marriage. Hoping you will get warmed up lots of other ways as you venture into some au naturale pj’s 🙂 Just an idea, but my husband & I use an electric blanket that is two-sided during the winter, so we can both control how warm it is on our side. This means I usually turn my side on & he leaves his off, but it might help as you brave the cold sheets. Knowing they will be warm & toasty might be an encouragement!

      • thank YOU for this incredible blog, God is using you to the MAX in this service. I like the blanket idea too. btw this is dac55, not sure why it said my post was from annymous?

    • I sleep naked and wanted my hubby to also. I just bought a heated mattress pad and it seems to be working! A worthy investment for sure 😀

  3. All of these resolutions are great and I am going to work on them as well as two of my own (based on some heart to heart talks I had with my husband over the holidays):

    1. Spend 15-30 minutes every day tidying up the house before my husband arrives home. He is an Acts of Service guy all the way and feels that a messy house is disrespectful.

    2. Turn off the computer/iPad by 10 pm and be in bed by 11 pm so we can have time together – even if it’s just reading in bed. I have gotten into the habit of puttering around online until midnight and not getting to bed until 12:30 or so – I had always thought he didn’t notice, because he always has his own work to do at night. However it came out in one of our chats that although there are nights when he has to finish something for work the next day, there are also a lot of times where the work could wait but he figured he might as well do it because I was still downstairs anyway. So here we have missed so many opportunities to spend time together and connect. I have learned that my husband needs a lot of non-sexual affection and touch in order to get in the mood for intimacy. So hopefully turning in earlier will help! At the very least, I will get more sleep and be less grumpy around him and our kids.

    Annabel, thanks so much for your wonderful blog. It has given me much to ponder and has been so helpful in our journey back from the brink of divorce …

    • MC,

      Thanks so much for sharing your own goals here – and for being brave enough to see and obey where God is asking you to. Serving your husband, putting him second in your heart and actions can NEVER go wrong. Incredibly humbled that my writing has been a source of life & strength for you. All the glory must go to the Father, the giver of all good gifts.

    • MC, we should chat more, my husband is also an Acts of Service guy and with my teaching job changing twice in 4 years i have totally neglected my messy house and i know it bothers him. Funny how that makes them not look favorably upon us, as a turn off instead of something they can just let go of and concentrate on the things they appreciate about us. Any thoughts here? Anyone?

  4. It’s funny I was reading the post where you asked the question “what if it doesn’t get better” and literally the first thing that popped in my head was “I am going to need a journal following this blog!” Lol! Definately going to start that.

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