The phenomenon

Good morning ladies! I wanted to welcome back Evie, who guest posted about embracing her higher-drive design a few weeks ago. Today she is here sharing her experience with the mysterious and wonderful phenomenon of female ejaculation. If you have experienced this, know that you are not alone! Evie and her husband have been married about three and a half years, and have two little boys. Welcome to this space once again, Evie. 


The first timed it happened, I was surprised. So was my husband. As it happened more and more, I wasn’t even sure what “it” was. I, honestly, was a little embarrassed by it. I had never read anything about this in any of the sex books I had read. Thankfully, my husband thought “it” was pretty awesome, so that helped me not worry about “it” so much.

As time passed, “it” happened fairly consistently whenever I would orgasm. It had gone from just a little in the early days to a fairly large production as time progressed. I found out later this phenomenon that was happening to me was called, “female ejaculation.” What I also learned was that it was not scientifically proven and sometimes considered a myth. One Christian marriage book I read clearly stated that female ejaculation did not exist. I even asked a trusted friend about “it,” who also mentioned that she had always just thought it was a myth.

For a while these words “myth” and “does not exist” were discouraging and almost shameful. There was clearly something that was happening to me; however, I could not find any concrete information that could conclusively verify what was happening to me. This phenomenon continued (and continues) to happen throughout my sexual encounters with my husband. To us, “it” was often a marker of how amazing my experience was, how connected to my husband I truly felt.

As time has passed, I’ve continued to read and research this phenomenon to better understand what is happening with me because in my experience “it” is very real. What I have learned is that female ejaculation is simply excess vaginal fluid being squeezed out during or before an orgasm. The fluid is not seminal fluid (like in male ejaculation) nor is it urine. Female ejaculation is not scientifically proven. “Its” existence is widely debated. That is the summary of  what I have been able to gather thus far.

While the thought of female ejaculation may be shocking to some of you, my purpose for sharing about this is not for shock value. Nor do I share about “it” as an experiment in being crass. Rather, because I so desired to have affirmation that I wasn’t the only one experiencing this phenomena, I am sharing my experience with you. My hope is that if this is your experience, too, you will know you are not alone and that what you are experiencing is nothing about which to be embarrassed. Rather, what you are experiencing is an exciting facet of who you are sexually.

I have learned to embrace the reality of this phenomenon in my own sexual experience. I have learned to not be ashamed or embarrassed of it, but to own it as my own design. My husband has been a voice of encouragement, feeling proud of what he can “do” to me. I have learned to enjoy and even celebrate this aspect of my own sexual design. May you also embrace and celebrate your unique sexual design!

What about you, friends? Are you embracing your sexual design? Have you experienced this phenomenon or any other that has left you wondering? Rejoice today in how God made you!

I love you ladies,

P.S. “J” over at Hot, Holy, & Humorous recently posted about this same phenomenon, and you can read about it here

16 thoughts on “The phenomenon

  1. Lol! I’m sorry. I thought this was normal. I didn’t think anything of it. Now I’m like, you mean there is another issue with my fe”MALE”ness! I honestly assumed this was something that happens as a result of a climax. Oh well at least that has not created an issue for me nor my husband.

  2. I think this happened to me several years ago, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Then recently (a couple months ago) it started happening again. Now it happens almost every time we make love. My husband loves it as I think he sees it as a sign that he “done good” 🙂 I”m curious as to when this occurs for others. With climax or before? I ask because the other night after “gushing” (my husband’s term) I asked him to keep me going as I felt that there was more orgasm to be had. What occurred then were a series of orgasms, varying in intensity and feeling, but each accompanied by a gush.. but once the gush starts, the sensations of the O stop. I felt that if he could penetrate me, there might have been an even stronger O awaiting. So, I guess my question is, is the gush the O, or is it an occurrence along the path to the O for you?
    Feel free to delete if you feel that I’ve crossed a line of appropriateness in my sharing and questioning here. I’m fairly new to the art of O’ing, so I soak in all the info that I can to take to the bedroom with us 🙂

    • Dear workinprogress,
      From what I understand the best, I think that the gush is “an occurrence along the path to the O”. I know what you mean… It almost seems like both scenarios could be true. I’m not completely sure… *blushing*. But it sounds like you and your husband are beautifully in unity, and I’m so happy for you two! God bless you!

      • Anabelle- I didn’t start experiencing it until after 22 years of marriage. You still have time 😉

    • For me it happens at heightened pleasure or intense sensation BEFORE O. However, it does not guarantee my having an O. I can FE and not O at all. Seldom have I experienced both at the exact same time.

    • I’d honestly have to say that I’m not sure and would have to pay more attention. Usually I am just having a grand time and not really keeping track of the order. I think, though, that the “gush” immediately precedes and continues on through the O most of the time.

  3. I am definitely embracing my sexual design during this time of my life! I had a very very deep miraculous inner healing occur back in February of 2007, and then my sexual peak hit at the same time! This completely overwhelmed me [and my husband] at the time. We’re still working together to find our sexual balance, but he and I love it when I gush! God is so creative!

    I actually occasionally gushed, or squirted, when I was younger, but I didn’t understand what was happening. I’m so thankful I do now! Sweet! *giggling*

    • I am so glad that this brought further understanding!! And I am so glad that there has been some powerful healing in your life. Isn’t it amazing the transformative work that Jesus can do in our hearts?!

  4. Glad to see a discussion of this, as it is very real. Part of the problem is that porn has picked “it” up and twisted it as they do with everything. I’m sure some of the doubt is because people have seen the fakes and throw the baby out with the bath water. [Is that a poor choice of words? 😉 ]

    • This is so true! Thank you for sharing affirming thoughts. Due to porn’s twisting of this experience, I feel as though many Christians are hesitant to verify “its” existence. Yet, it is very real…and very much created by God for our enjoyment and pleasure.

  5. We ran a comprehensive sex survey with Sensuous Wives a couple of years back, and out of over 300 respondents, 30% confirmed experiencing FE ‘occasionally’ or ‘frequently’, so to my mind it certainly exists and is more common than may be thought.

    • Thank you for this statistical confirmation! It’s great to know that there is some research on the subject!

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