Good morning, sisters! I have said this before, but I truly mean it. I write because I would rather talk. If I could do anything, amazing friends, I would pull you through my computer into my (messy) living room to share a cup of coffee. I would probably try to bake something with pumpkin (again). And fail (again). We would eat it anyway. We would talk for a long time about our God-given husbands and how to serve and love them better. We would share our heart’s stories. We would cry together, and laugh.
Since that is not possible, I try to host these “coffee chats” where we can all come and talk. I pray it is as life-giving to you as it is to me, and hope you will choose to engage.
A reader asked a question a few days ago that got me thinking. Here is what she asked:
A question for you ladies, when you initiate, are you ready to go straight to intercourse after a short amount of time (5-10 minutes) or do you need longer amounts of foreplay as if your husband was initiating? I am slightly higher drive but husband feels like I should take the reins more regarding my pleasure when I desire intimacy sooner. I desire the physical and emotional connection of being intimate but am not necessarily already aroused when I want to initiate. It’s been a struggle explaining this to hubs and figuring out a solution that keeps us both happy. Any suggestions of helping him understand that my desire isn’t solely for intercourse but for the full connection of sex with my spouse?
The last part of that question just jumped out at me – so lets talk about it!
First, as a higher-drive wife do you still need “warming up”? (Trusting you amazing women to not get too graphic here – I love you, but I don’t really want to picture you in bed with your man ;))
Second, is there something in sex that helps you to feel connected? Orgasm? Foreplay? Looking into each others eyes?
Finally, does your husband understand your need for connection in sex? Have you communicated to him the need for the full connection? If so, how? If not, any ideas on how you would word it?
Go make a big pot of coffee and let’s talk – cannot wait to hear your thoughts on this one 🙂