Growing Patience

Good afternoon, friends! Sorry for the silence, but I am running into life as a mom of two small children, being a good wife and homemaker and all the other things that come with a life busy and full. Even as I am writing the sounds of my eldest crying and getting into something punctuates and interrupts me. Our current living situation has the youngest still sharing our room (not how we want it, but so it is), and that has made for a challenging time where sex is concerned. So today I wanted to write about patience – because I am having to learn a lot about it.

Sometimes the timing is just off. Sometimes the nights are short, the days are long, and you just need to be patient. Maturity requires us to realize that we don’t always get whatever we want, whenever we want it – and that our response to that realization marks our maturity. I would like to have sex more often than I do. But sometimes, by the time the day is all said and done it just doesn’t happen. Often the reasons are legitimate (I have been running a fever & sick on top of the current crazy in our life). Sometimes just as we are about to engage in sex, our littlest wakes up needing me. And my hard-working husband is asleep before I get back.
Marriage is a holy estate. It is created to display the glory of God and engage our hearts in the grandest Story ever told. It has it’s seasons. As a higher-drive wife in a sexually recovering marriage I can forget that sometimes I just need to walk in patience. Sometimes it really is okay if we aren’t have sex as often as I would like – it’s just life’s timing.

So next time you are up to your eyeballs in crying children, limping around because your back hurts, and at a total loss about what might be for lunch today – take a minute to smile, grow a little patience with yourself and the world, and embrace the season you are in.


P.S. If you are in a sexually broken or hurting marriage, your journey is already full of challenges. May God, indeed, grow the fruit of the spirit in you as you drink from a very hard cup.

4 thoughts on “Growing Patience

  1. Thank you for your P.S. I have commented on prior posts of yours, but since my last, I have discovered shattering news in my own marriage. I am, right now, in a “sexually broken” place in my marriage. The “scarlet thread” here is that both my husband and I are seeking God and moving through repentance and restoration. The discovery and disclosure were a God send.

    I had thought I was the high drive wife of a low drive husband, but just last month discovered the truth behind my husband’s seeming low drive. I won’t go into it here, but I will say that I have found it to be a widespread issue across both the secular world and the body of Christ.

    I still covet your prayers and so appreciate your blog. I will most definitely continue to follow you!

  2. Hi Annabel

    Wanted to again encourage you with your blog and its ironic timeliness…as you uploaded this blog I was in bed in the early hours of this morning (our time is ahead of where you are), once again disappointed and with a heavy heart from being rejected, again. During the night I call out to God and ask why is it taking so long for my wife to show any signs of change, when I’m praying day and night (literally), throwing myself on the marriage bed and crying out to God (literally); when I ask God that if it hurts His Heart so much, why doesn’t He change my wife’s heart, especially when it’s me doing he changing and praying?

    You might find this funny – during the night as I lay awake mulling the above, I started rubbing my wife’s back, just to see if someone during her slumber she was actually “in the mood” (lol). But I thought – I may as well lay my hands on her and pray, so I did. As hard as I could under my breath, I prayed, lots of things; praying her relationship with God would be strong, amongst other things.

    So anyway, this post is helping me hang on a bit longer. It is heartbreaking to be always rejected by the one you love, especially when the time increases between the last time we made love. My wife is hitting the end of her cycle soon, so unless there’s a miracle it’s going to be 2 months. With that in mind, you can understand why I get so upset/irritated etc at all the bloggers who post lovely sweet things about marriage, wives being available etc. All they do is rub salt in the wounds. But again I encourage you to keep up your down-to-earth, practical blog.
    God bless

  3. Kwala, as a wife on the side you are on, I understand your frustration, but am so thankful that another blogger pointed me in the direction of this site. I had begun to think I was the one that was broken or wired wrong, I discovered the good in a marriage bed late, and now when I hear no (a lot) I get very discouraged.
    Annabel, thanks again for a post that hit at just the right time, with just the right wording to redirect my heart and mind 🙂

    • Friends,

      Your words do so much good to my heart – they are indeed “life to the bones”. Thank you for taking the time to encourage – I won’t lie there have been a few days recently that I wonder why I am writing & who I am writing to. I have encouraged myself that it is to the Lord (and it is), but it blesses me that others are receiving from it as well.
      K, still praying & believing for your marriage and your wife. God sees. He knows. He is walking with you.


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