Good morning sisters,
It is once again early morning. The house is just starting to stir, and I am here with my coffee and you. I have so many thoughts twirling around in my head and heart. How to find ways to share our story, to encourage you, to shine a light towards Christ so that you may see Him clearly?
I pray the words on this small journaling space will be just that – a beacon of hope that points towards our great Hope.
This past year has been the journey I never thought I would go on. When I first received “the news” I thought the road ahead was a road for my husband, in particular. Our marriage had crashed into what I thought was a towering wall…it turns out that we had crashed into the Rock. The one who falls on this stone will be broken to pieces, and when it falls on anyone, it will crush him. (Matt 21:44)
We had fallen on the stone, and we found ourselves utterly broken.
May I confess something?
I thought this year would be about him. My husband had committed the grievance. My husband was the one whose sin crashed us into this place, right?
I pictured myself nobly standing next to him as he worked through his issues. Of course it affected us both, of course we would both need help to find our way back, but really – it was about him. Oh sisters, I couldn’t have been more wrong.
This year Christ has humbled me. He has shown me so clearly the depth of my own depravity – the darkness of my own heart. I have never seen my own sin so clearly. I have never known how great my need for Him.
A good friend said to me at the start of these turbulent days, “Annabel, I think this is going to change your life forever. I think the trajectory of everything you have known and thought you would do is altering.”
She couldn’t have been more right.
Everything has changed.
At the start of the year, I thought it was about my husband’s healing.
It is my heart that has been shown to be utterly in need of Christ’s forgiveness.
I thought we had crashed into a wall of sin and pain that would leave us scarred and limping forever.
It turned out to be our Rock, our faithful High Priest that we had crashed upon. His breaking has left us more whole, with no scars.
I thought this year was a detour on the path that our life was on.
This year turned out to be a life-altering course change. Our feet left the well-known path, we are now in the wildness of His adventure for us.
I have so, so many stories. Some about sex. Some about forgiveness. Some about tears. Some about surprises. Some about death. Some about life.
But all of them about Hope. Sweet, sweet Hope.
I am praying for you all this morning. My eyes are filled with the tears I know so many of you shed over your marriages, over your hard places, over your marriage beds. I am mourning with you.
May Christ uphold you. May He allow you and your husband to come crashing onto His truth in the best time.
I love you, sweet sisters. Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts for me over this past year. I have received so many emails. You all have faithfully continued to comment on this little space. I have read every word, and I have been grateful for the community that was reaching out in blindness towards me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I know your season may feel like death. Take heart – death itself is a servant of Christ.