The world of blogging is wonderful and strange. I began my writing journey because I was lonely, in desperate need of a higher-drive voice that was female. So I chose to become that voice. But my journey is still taking place, and is full of its own struggles and imperfections.
I have said this before, but I truly mean it. I write because I would rather talk. If I could do anything, amazing friends, I would pull you through my computer into my (messy) living room to share a cup of coffee. And blueberry muffins that I am baking. We would talk for a long time about our God-given husbands and how to serve and love them better. We would share our heart’s stories. We would cry together, and laugh.
Since that is not possible, I thought I would try to do something today and see how it goes. I want to have a conversation with you.
Have you ever heard anyone say anything like this – “Keep expectations low. Low expectations keep you content with life and surprised by good.” The first time I heard this everything in me said, “NO!” It felt like giving up somehow to say that I would set my expectations low. However, I have found that having low expectations in some areas of life allow me to be grateful and defer frustration and disappointment.
Here is a case in point. My husband works constantly changing shifts. Sometimes he is scheduled for long shifts, other times they are short. Days off are random, and there is no real “pattern” to the way he is scheduled. So if I don’t expect him home for dinner, or home to help get the kids to bed, then I am pleasantly surprised if he can be available for these events. On the flip side, if I do expect him home and he doesn’t come, I find myself aggravated and sad that he is, once again, missing out on our family life. So here is a place where low expectations actually serve me well.
So perhaps there is a difference between low expectations and hope? Our hope lies in the Lord – in both His glorious return and His bringing truth, healing, and grace into our todays. Is it possible to keep low expectations on my husband and our marriage bed, while maintaining hope in our marriage becoming more like it was truly created to be?
I would be honored today to talk about these thoughts with you. Would you be willing to engage with me and give me your thoughts on these questions –
Is there any truth to keeping our expectations low?
Do expectations of our spouse and our marriage bed just set us up for disappointment and frustration?
Would we do better to have low expectations and find ourselves happy and grateful when things turn out well? Or are low expectations a “self-fulfilling” prophecy, or a dishonor to our marriage beds?
Is there a difference between expectations and hope?
If so, how do we have low expectations and still cling to hope?
Talk to me, friend. I covet your input on this.
P.S. Not in the mood to talk today? That’s okay – if you just need to listen then here are a few one-sided conversations 🙂
Go low – serving & pursuing your lower-drive husband
Keeping pure within marriage – how a higher-drive wife avoids temptation (and here is Pt. II)